An Open Letter to Voldemort,
It has come to our attention that while dealing with Snape, you may not fully understand his constitution and love for a woman that you killed. Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of Snape — the power of his hatred and his thirst for revenge — which you should seriously consider as you negotiate to have him be your underling. We should also point out that–
First, while Snape can play a significant role in helping you in your efforts to oppress and create fear and strife, he is only one man. Whereas our US Congress has literally hundreds of men (okay, one or two chicks, but seriously, mostly men) willing and ready to oppress the people and sell out to the highest bidder.
Secondly, Snape will only live for a couple more books, whereas us senators serve so many terms that some of us were first elected before books were even invented.
What this means is that Snape is effectively powerless, as any oppression and dastardly deeds begun by him through your directives will not succeed unless approved by this Congress (as long as the Koch brothers tell us it’s okay). Any agreement with Snape will not be binding, and the next teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts could revoke your entire agreement with the stroke of his pen and one “Expectorum Constitionisum” and future Congresses could rewrite these silly Potter books just as easily as we re-write science and history books in the South. Can you dig us?
We hope this letter enriches your knowledge of Snape and our constitutional system (as least as we see it – and we read up on it on Wikipedia to make sure we were accurate) and promotes mutual understanding and clarity as evil deeds and villainy progress.
The 47 Senate Traitors