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Another Open Letter from the US Senate

An Open Letter to Voldemort,

It has come to our attention that while dealing with Snape, you may not fully understand his constitution and love for a woman that you killed. Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of Snape — the power of his hatred and his thirst for revenge — which you should seriously consider as you negotiate to have him be your underling.  We should also point out that–

First, while Snape can play a significant role in helping you in your efforts to oppress and create fear and strife, he is only one man.  Whereas our US Congress has literally hundreds of men (okay, one or two chicks, but seriously, mostly men) willing and ready to oppress the people and sell out to the highest bidder.

Secondly, Snape will only live for a couple more books, whereas us senators serve so many terms that some of us were first elected before books were even invented.

What this means is that Snape is effectively powerless, as any oppression and dastardly deeds begun by him through your directives will not succeed unless approved by this Congress (as long as the Koch brothers tell us it’s okay). Any agreement with Snape will not be binding, and the next teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts could revoke your entire agreement with the stroke of his pen and one “Expectorum Constitionisum” and future Congresses could rewrite these silly Potter books just as easily as we re-write science and history books in the South.  Can you dig us?

We hope this letter enriches your knowledge of Snape and our constitutional system (as least as we see it – and we read up on it on Wikipedia to make sure we were accurate) and promotes mutual understanding and clarity as evil deeds and villainy progress.

Sincerely,

The 47 Senate Traitors

You Reap What You Sow

John McCain on why 47 Republican Senators wrote a letter to Iran to undermine US negotiations with Iran:

“It’s also symptomatic between the total lack of trust that exists now between we Republicans and the president,” he said. “This has established a poisoned environment here which sometimes causes us to react maybe in not the most effective fashion.”

For those wondering why there might be a total lack of trust between the Republicans and the President, I refer you to MitchMc’Connell’s remarks in 2010:

“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”

Yes, you reap what you sow….

Procrastination

I was going to write a lengthy post on procrastination and steps we all can take to not fall prey to it…

But I think I’ll write it next week instead.

MLS Season Starts in less than 2 weeks!!

MLS starts in two weekends.  That means my wife and kids lose control of the tv on Saturday nights as I gorge myself on soccer all night long.

Luckily for them, thanks to modern technology and the MLS Live app on my TV, I don’t watch all 20 hours of MLS soccer action, I just watch a couple marquee games (including, of course, my LA Galaxy) and then the 20-minute condensed versions of the rest of the matches.  Gotta love technology!

So bye-bye weekend sleeping and hello MLS!

 

:)

Creation

So, it’s been awhile since I’ve shot a movie (short or feature).  Been mainly doing the sound thing and and screenwriting thing.  But I think I need to get back to shooting my own things, as well.

This past weekend I directed/shot a commercial for my brother’s law firm.  Maybe I’ll post a link to it here when it’s done.  But it reinforced something I’ve been thinking about the last couple months — it’s time for me to make another movie.

I think I know the story and can write the script pretty quickly.  I even have the title– “13 Life”.  So I think I’m going to create this right now and declare on this blog that no one reads, that this coming summer I’m going to shoot my second feature film.  Maybe I’ll even pick a date for the start of principal photography and put one of those countdown widgets on the right-hand side of this blog…

But there you go.  I’ve created it and I’ve committed to it.  Now it’s time to get to work on it..

Shirley, you can’t be serious

Ah, very sad to hear that Shirley Temple passed away….

Not necessarily because I was a big fan (of the child actor or US ambassador) or anything…

But because she was basically the last living member of a long-ago Hollywood era.  And with her passing, that era officially becomes something of the past.

I suppose that it will be even more poignant for me when I see an era that was more personal to me come to a close.  Of course, I’ll have to live to a good, ripe age to see that happen.  So it will be poignant, but will mean I’ve outlasted ’em.  I’ve often said that the price of a long, rich life, is watching others end their journey before yours, so I guess, given the alternative, I’ll be just fine with watching some more eras come to a close…

Unicorn Magic

So I often tell my daughter a bedtime story… She’s 11 and going on 18, but still likes a good story at the bedtime…

And sometimes she tells me a story…

And we often tell the continuing adventures of the same character. For about a year it was Dave the Dog (I especially enjoyed the tale I spun of Dave’s time as a sailor in the Navy stationed on a submarine).

For the past month, we’ve been spinning the tales of Larry the Unicorn.

(My daughter would point out that technically that picture is an Alacorn, not a Unicorn. But since that’s Larry’s face for sure, just imagine there are no wings and then you know exactly what Larry looks like.)

Tonight, Larry the Unicorn went backpacking across Europe, and one dark and stormy night somewhere in Germany he encountered another backpacker, Lorenzo the Llama (from Spain).

They decided to camp together for the night and it’s lucky they did because a pack of wolves attacked in the middle of the night, hoping to have some Unicorn and Llama snacks. Things looked bleak for Larry and Lorenzo, but then my daughter remembered that Larry the Unicorn has a special power that had been established a couple adventures ago…. You see, Larry has a delicate stomach and a strong colon… and well… those wolves scared him and, luckily for him and unfortunately for the Wolves, at lunchtime that day Larry had stopped at a German baked bean stand for a big bowl of German baked beans… So the wolves scared Larry the bloated and gassy Unicorn into unleashing a magical Unicorn fart…

And wolves have a strong sense of smell anyway. And it was so horrible that the wolves’ fur all fell off.

(This ain’t funny, bro…)

 

And the wolves ran away, howling and retching, and Larry and Lorenzo were saved.

Although Lorenzo was nauseous and wished he had arms with which to wave away those toxic fumes. But they continued their backpacking adventures the next day and Lorenzo didn’t allow Larry to eat any more beans the rest of the trip and they all lived happily ever after (even the wolves, who eventually re-grew all their fur). The end.


And that’s a typical bedtime with my daughter..

 

 

(The moral of the story is that when telling a bedtime tale to a child, if you paint yourself into a corner, you can always rescue yourself with a good fart joke.  Works every time…)

Skunks and Metal

So I had an interesting run this morning.  You know it’s a wacky run when almost getting sprayed by a skunk isn’t the worst part of your run….

So the plan was 8 miles.  6 at MP and then 2 easy, cool down.  Two blocks from my house I almost ran into a skunk as it came waddling out from under a car right as I was passing by — in hindsight I shouldn’t have been that surprised, when I went outside yesterday morning to go to the car, the whole neighborhood REEKED of this little guy — but anyway, he walked right out in front of me.

He looked like this, just dirty and much angrier….

First off, I didn’t realize I could stop that quickly and start backpedalling (I almost tweaked my knee big-time).  And second, I now know what it looks like when a skunk hisses at you and raises it’s tail…

Luckily I retreated quickly enough that Mr. Skunk didn’t go through with his threat, and I ran down a different block to get on with my run…

The next 4.5 miles went along nicely in the cool and dark (this was 5:30 a.m.).  I was hitting my pace goal and running nice and easy and feeling good.  Then at about 4.5 miles I felt a sharp pain in my right foot, as if a bee had stung the bottom of my forefoot just below the toes.  I came to a stop, sorta hopping on my left foot, confused.  Then turned around and looked back…

And sure enough, there was a piece of metal sticking up in the road.  Like a slim piece of metal flashing that had become imbedded in the asphalt and something had caused one end to break free and about an inch and a half was sticking straight up in the air.

Imagine a tiny sliver of this stuff about 2 inches long stuck in the pavement…

So I sat down on the curb and pulled off my shoe and, sure enough, there was a little slit in the bottom of the shoe and when I pulled off my sock there was a little blood.  But luckily, it wasn’t long enough to pierce the shoe and insert and gone all the way through my foot.  Just a little stab wound.

Of course, being a runner, my first concern was the shoes and whether a little hole in them would reduce their life-span…

So then I put my sock and shoe back on and finished the remaining 1.5 miles to my house, where I had planned on getting some water and then doing the 2 miles cool-down.  But I figured I’d stop there, before something even more calamitous happened….

Like a Sharknado or something hitting the neighborhood…

Of course, we don’t really ever have tornadoes in Southern California… Maybe a Shark-quake??

Think I’ll do tomorrow’s 4-mile slow and easy recovery run on the treadmill at the gym, just to give the bottom of my foot a day to heal…

I don’t follow football much, but I do hate the 49er’s….

Charles Shaw Chardonnay at TJ’s: $1.99
Calluna Chalk Hill 2009 Merlot at Manhattan Fine Wines: $39.99
49er Fans’ Tears Collected into a whine bottle and labeled 2014 Sherman’s Big Mouth: Priceless

Marathon Number Two

Oh, I haven’t posted much on this blog in the past couple months.  Mainly because I’m lazy.

Also because I’ve been running a lot.  And working.  And being a family man.  You know, the regular shit.

But I figured that I should post to the world that I intend to run my second marathon on June 1st, 2014– The San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon.  With a goal of knocking 30 minutes off my PR…

So there it is, world (or, to be more accurate, the two people who accidentally stumble across this blog while searching for blog articles about David Beckham’s hair-style this week…).  My running goal for the first half of 2014 is now public.  And the training begins at the end of this month…

Now to work on getting the rest of my life in shape…

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